


Teach me how to say goodbye

by inlovewithfictionalcharacters



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-03 15:06:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6615250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inlovewithfictionalcharacters/pseuds/inlovewithfictionalcharacters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>MAJOR TRK SPOILERS - and also spoilers for the rest of the series. Seriously do not read this until you have finished The Raven King.<br/>Slight canon divergence in that Ronan actually attends graduation.<br/>----</p><p> </p><p>Three farewells to characters we lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Aurora Lynch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Caro for the quick comma beta read. :)

They held a memorial service for Aurora Lynch. Although there was no body, the combined power of all three Lynch brothers wanting to mourn their mother made the priest give in. He knew the boys from every Sunday spent attending church together and he knew about Declan's donations, about how Matthew sometimes volunteered for church fundraisers, how Ronan had helped a boy find a temporary home and then helped him out with the rent because it was the right thing to do.

While the priest thought that there was something not quiet explainable about the bond the brothers shared, he still appreciated their piety. It could have been faked on some days or force of habit but they all looked like they believed. Though in what exactly he'd never been able to tell.

It wasn't a well attended service, even though Declan Lynch had spared no expense. There was a blown up picture of Aurora smiling down on them and there were flower wraiths. But the family had always kept to themselves and while Aurora liked mostly everyone, they wanted only those to attend who had truly known her. Or so they had told him.

And so the priest of St. Agnes found himself facing the Lynch brothers in one row and just behind them Adam Parrish, their tenant, a thoughtful boy wearing glasses, a girl dressed in an obviously handmade black dress and an impeccable dressed Asian boy who looked like he felt a bit out of place.

Nevertheless, he gave a speech and talked about Aurora Lynch's life as Declan had described it to him. While she had stopped attending the service with her sons after her husband's tragic murder, you could see the resemblance between them and the picture standing next to the altar. None the boys bore her exact features but they each had something of her spirit. Matthew most of all because of his equally sunny disposition. 

But now they were all somber. They were saying goodbye to their mother and facing the world as orphans. 

After the memorial ended, Declan stayed behind to thank the priest. He shook his hand and thanked him yet again for the private service. Matthew was standing next to Declan, but he was looking back at Ronan who had met up with his friends. The girl had embraced him and then stepped back. Ronan ruffled her hair. It was clear that he tried to downplay his grief but it was somewhat visible on his face. 

Suddenly Adam Parrish put his arm around Ronan's shoulder and Ronan leaned into it. When the girl had hugged him he had played it off, but now it truly looked like Adam's arm was the only thing keeping him upright. It looked like his mask was crumbling.

Declan said goodbye to the priest and joined the others. Together they all got into different cars to have a meal in Aurora's honor. Declan was driving Matthew, but Ronan's BMV was missing. Instead he got into a car that could only be described as a loose assembly of different car parts smushed together. The priest had never seen Ronan Lynch being driven around, but he got into Adam Parrish' car and they drove off.

The man sighed to himself. He hoped that the brothers would find peace. Their mothers death seemed to have finally brought them all together. But he wouldn't have wished the circumstances on anyone. 

Despite not knowing Aurora Lynch very well and despite this not having been a big service, he could feel how great of an impact she had had on her sons' lives and those of their friends.

He looked up at the sky that was beginning to look grey and stormy and sent another silent prayer for her upwards. The woman's good work would clearly be evident in her three sons for a long time to come. She would be remembered.


	2. Noah Czerny

It took them all a few weeks to realize that Noah wouldn't be coming back. He had disappeared before but in the end he had always found a way back.

At first they had assumed it was because of what he had become and the way he had hurt Blue, but she had long since forgiven him. Eventually they all came to the same conclusion. Noah had moved on. 

While Blue was happy for him, she also missed her friend. Noah had always been save. In a way, he had needed her in her function as a mirror and she had been save in the knowledge that she wouldn't kill him. 

A few weeks before graduation Gansey and Blue were sitting under her beech tree in the garden. The garden was the only place with a semblance of privacy around the house. Ever since Blue and Gansey had broken their curse, Maura had insisted on what she called “first time parenting” and hadn't allowed Gansey and Blue much unsupervised alone time.

Blue had told her mother that she wouldn't go from kissing to teen pregnancy if she and Gansey were left alone for ten minutes, but her mother insisted that a nagging mother was part of the true teenage romance experience.

Gansey didn't seem to mind. He was happy just to spend time with Blue, especially now that he could kiss her hello and goodnight when they went on dates.

Blue supposed in a way this date was being chaperoned by her father, the actual tree, but it was hard to remember that when Gansey had his arm around her shoulder and had pulled her close to him. She leaned her head on his chest. He was wearing an orange polo shirt today and it hurt her eyes, so she closed them. Gansey might be her true love but that didn't mean she was blind. Her eye had fully recovered and she didn't want to hurt it again by looking at that.

“I miss Noah” she said.

She hadn't allowed herself to say it out loud for a long time. Saying it out loud made it real. Noah wasn't coming back. 

Gansey squeezed her shoulder. He didn't say anything for a moment and Blue finally looked up at him. She realized he was looking deeply saddened and almost like he was close to tears.

“He died so I could live.” Gansey said. “And now something else has died so I could live. I feel like I can never repay the debts I owe. Noah was a good friend in his own way and I'm not sure I deserved it.”

Blue sat up. “Of course you deserved it! It was Noah's decision to be your friend. To be friends with all of us. He knew it would be his time sooner or later. He knew his time here was limited. I'm sure he was glad he got to experience the adventures we had together.”

Blue bit her lip. She hadn't meant to freak out at Gansey. She could see where his thoughts were coming from. Blue felt guilty too. Maybe if she had searched for Noah more, if she had insisted on giving him more of her energy. Maybe he would still be here.

“The way I see it is that we couldn't keep him here forever. That would have been selfish of us. But I feel bad too.We are going to grow up and you were given these chances, so now we should make the most of it. You said Noah is always mentioned on Raven Day right? That way he built himself a legacy. No one at that school will forget him.”

Gansey nodded. “You're right, Jane. He will live on in the way any trust fund student should. In a frivolous celebration honoring an old stuffy school full of privileged kids.”

He said it with a completely straight face but Blue could tell he was joking at her expense. But the summer stretched out before them and later they would meet the others at Nino's. After having such a limited time, Blue didn't want to spend the summer on mock fighting, so she only slapped Gansey's arm lightly. 

“You know what I mean. And Adam isn't privileged. Wait, I can't believe I'm defending anything Aglionby does.”

Gansey smiled. “And you're dating one of them, Jane. You used to have principles.”

Blue snorted. “You laugh but it's true. I had very specific rules when it came to you Raven boys.”

She leaned back against his chest and stretched out her arms. “We'll all have graduated soon. Can you believe it? I can't believe Ronan's actually graduating at all, if I'm being honest.”

Gansey smiled. “He seemed better don't you think? After the service. I know he's not going to be okay from one minute to the next, but you two are very similar even if you don't like to admit it much. Did he seem to be coping?”

Blue nodded. “Yes, I think he got some closure. And Adam has been helping him deal with it I think. I never see those two apart anymore. Although, I guess that's calling the kettle black given how much time we spent together lately.” 

“So you really think it helped? The service? Even if the body couldn't be buried?”

Blue thought about it. “Yes I think it was good for all of them. For Matthew and Declan too I mean. They weren't here for it, but they needed to come to terms with it as much as Ronan did.”

Gansey bit his lip. “Do you think that is something we should do for Noah? A memorial service? To say goodbye?”

Blue was startled. She hadn't expected Gansey to offer something like that. “A memorial service...mh that's not quiet right. He already had a funeral after all. This should be something with just us. Something to connect us. But some kind of goodbye is a good idea. He meant so much to all of us.”

Gansey was thinking it over. She could tell because he was furrowing his brow like he used to when they pored over books on Glendower.

“I think I have the perfect idea, Jane.”

 

Graduation day at Aglionby dawned sunny and bright. In the yard students were chattering to each other as they put on graduation caps and gowns. 

Gansey looked up at the sky. There wasn't any sign of any crafted ravens today. The graduation ceremony was very old and was taken very seriously. But today there would be a slight detour in protocol. 

It was time to go take their seats now and Gansey went towards the rows of seats reserved for the students. Blue and his family were sitting in the back. Gansey could see Henry from his seat but not Adam and Ronan. They were all seated alphabetically. 

One by one, they were called up on stage in groups of three and received their diplomas. To everyone's astonishment Ronan didn't do anything flashy like giving the headmaster the finger when he got his. Or dip kissing Adam. Perhaps he was growing up. Or maybe Adam had asked him not to.

When they had all sat back down, Headmaster Child took to the podium once again. A few parents and students with older siblings looked confused. Another speech after the diplomas wasn't done usually.

“Dear students, I will keep this brief, as I am sure you are all eager to celebrate with your parents. There is a special reason why I'm now giving a second speech. 

You all remember the moving tribute his sister paid to the founder of Raven Day this year. Noah Czerny was a student who left us before he could sit where you sit now. But he has left behind a tradition we honor each year and so he will never be forgotten.

But it turns out one student thought he should leave a permanent mark on campus. I would like this student to step up now and say a few words. Mr. Gansey, if you would?”

Gansey got up and went to the podium. A silence fell. Whenever Gansey entered like this, you couldn't help but listen. His presence filled the entire courtyard. 

“Dear fellow students, these past few years I have learned a lot about Noah Czerny and I decided that he deserves the honor of being remembered every day. 

Someone didn't want him to be remembered but Noah's spirit couldn't be daunted. Every year we celebrate Raven Day but I want every student to remember Noah each day when they go into the school. I want them to remember that attending this school is a privilege few have and a privilege that Noah didn't get to experience fully to the end.

To archive this, I have donated a statue to the school. Headmaster, if you would be so kind?”

Headmaster Child had stepped down from the stage and now pulled off a white sheet from a statue. It was a beautiful raven carved from blue marble. Everyone turned to look at it.

“As you can see we got kind of creative and went with a raven. I hope this monument will stand the test of time, just as Noah Czerny's legacy will. He will be remembered for the truly incredible person that he was. Thank you.”

And with that the students were dismissed. Hats were thrown, families were hugged and promises to stay in contact were made.

Gansey stepped down from the stage and joined his parents, Ronan, Adam and Blue who were all waiting for him. Henry was busy with his own parents and he had confided in Gansey that he wouldn't want to break up this memorial since he hadn't truly known Noah. 

“Man what a speech, Dick. Practicing to follow into your mother's footsteps?” asked Ronan when Gansey stepped up to them.

Gansey ignored him in favour of telling his parents that they would catch up with them. They turned to wait by the car. Gansey had told them that they would need a moment to say goodbye. His parents assumed it was to the school and to classmates, but that wouldn't be the case.

“Shut it, Lynch. I can see you crying and I bet Noah can too wherever he is.” Blue said when Gansey's parents were out of earshot. 

Ronan nodded and lightly rubbed his eyes with his arm. “Whatever asshole, it's just the sun shining in my fucking face.”

Adam put his arm around Blue's and Ronan's shoulder and looked at Gansey. “So should we pay our respects? I imagine you didn't fly that thing in first class just to ignore it.”

Together they went to the statue. A few students were glancing at it but most were busy being hugged and kissed by their families. Gansey felt oddly wistful. Both Ronan and Adam didn't have their parents here anymore. The Ganseys had invited them all to dinner but it just wasn't the same. Still they and Blue had all promised to come.

Blue stepped forward towards the statue. 

“You were my first kiss and I was your last. I used to think I might not have liked you if we had met while you were alive but I don't think that's really true. If I could learn to like these idiots standing here with me and even Henry Cheng, then I could have adopted another Raven boy just as easily. Which is to say not easy at all, but nothing worth having ever came easy. We know that more than anyone” 

She glanced briefly at Gansey and then leaned down to place a handmade bracelet at the bottom of the statue. 

“I made this for you. You always liked my clothing but I know you could have never worn this. So here it is for you to wear wherever you are now. I hope you found peace, Noah.” 

She began to cry silently and stepped back. She wiped her eyes with her hands and sniffled. Next Adam stepped forward.

“Hey Noah. You were a good friend. I brought you the notes I took in Science class because you told me it was your favorite and yet I never got the chance to take the class with you. I don't know how you expected to graduate with such poor attendance. I guess Ronan was a bad influence. But it's not like I need the notes anymore.”

He smiled sardonically and stepped back too. Gansey moved to stand in front of the raven. 

“Noah, I know I can never repay what you did for me but I hope I can at least make sure that you are always remembered as you were meant to be remembered. Not as a poor boy who was murdered by his friend, but as a vibrant living boy who brought the silliness we all needed so badly into our lives. I will never forget you and neither will anyone at this school as long as I can make sure that this monument remains.”

He stepped back. He realized he was crying too. Blue put her arms around his waist and hugged him. “You did a good thing, Gansey. Noah would have liked it.”

Finally it was Ronan's turn. 

“You know I'm not a man of many civil words, Czerny, so appreciate me trying. You were there for so many changes in my life this past year and that's why I would never be able to forget you. I know you wouldn't want me to give some grand speech like Dick the Third here so I brought you something. You know where it comes from.”

Ronan placed a snow-globe next to Blue's bracelet and Adam's notes. Inside it had blue glitter and a replica of the raven statue. The glitter was swirling inside the globe even though it hadn't be shaken. It didn't seem to settle down. It was quiet obviously a dream thing. 

Together the four of them stood in front of the statue with their heads slightly bowed and their arms around each other. Noah Czerny would always be part of their lives no matter where they went or what they experienced. He would be remembered.


	3. Persephone Poldma

You could really feel the quiet at the Barns in your bones during this time of night. The sun was just beginning to set and Adam and Ronan were sitting outside. 

Opal was staying at 300 Fox Way for the night. Blue had assumed responsibility with a knowing look but hadn't made her usual “new parents” crack. Adam was grateful for that because he didn't think he would have handled visiting his parents well if he had that half-joke in mind about being a parent himself.

He liked Opal but he wanted to spend a night alone with Ronan. They were nearly always together now, just like they had always silently orbited one another. But being alone without Opal or the others there to distract them was a luxury. And it was one Adam was able to afford now.

Ronan had a beer in hand and was sipping on it from time to time. Adam had a coke. They were sitting in silence, just enjoying each other's company. A few months ago Adam would never have felt as comfortable simply not saying anything. He always felt on edge around Ronan like there was something just on the edge of horizon, something just shy of happening.

“Why do you think Persephone didn't hang around as a ghost?” Adam asked.

Ronan turned to Adam. “Do you know many ghosts, Parrish? I figured Noah was just an extreme anomaly and ley lines and shit.”

Adam nodded. “I suppose you're right, Lynch.”

Ronan scoffed. “Don't call your boyfriend by his last name, Parrish.”

Adam smirked and looked at Ronan who was still gazing back at him. 

“Not intimate enough for you, _babe_?” asked Adam just to get the smug asshole to stop.

Instead Ronan's smirk matched Adam's. Adam got the same feeling that he used to get when Ronan would suggest shopping carts shenanigans. This tingly feeling that started in his stomach. That excitement of something dangerous yet fun. Dating Ronan was one adventure that Adam didn't mind the subsequent bruises off. Ronan seemed to have a fondness for hickeys. Adam, who had a difficult relationship with his skin being bruised, found himself not minding it at all.

“Joke's on you, Parrish. I like it when you call me that.”

Adam kissed him just to shut him up. And also because he now could. For once he felt secure of his place in the life of the object of his affection. Love was never something he had expected to get without anything in return, but Adam was sure that Ronan would still have loved him even if Adam didn't return the feeling. And Ronan wouldn't have held it against him.

“It's just. All these memorials. They made me think of her. I saw her again and that got me thinking about ghosts. But I suppose she didn't really have a reason for sticking around.”

“Well you still have her cards. You can still uphold her legacy.”

Adam hadn't really expected Ronan to say something so profound without any sarcasm. But Ronan must have sensed that Adam was being serious. Over the past few weeks they had developed a better routine. They had always shared a certain connection but now that this thing wasn't between them they were better at communicating and reading each other.

Adam had known how much it meant when Ronan had lent him his BMW because Adam's car was at the shop for a last check up before the drive to college. They no longer had to always explicitly state their intentions or leave them unsaid. There was something between them that was communicated through actions.

He suddenly got up. 

“Where are you going?” Ronan asked.

“I just remembered I needed to get something. I'll be back in a second.”

Inside the Barns Adam searched for the bag he had brought. Ronan had given him plenty of space to store clothing if he stayed overnight but Adam still went back to St. Agnes now and again for things and also for some quiet when he still needed to study. Now after graduation it probably wouldn't be necessary anymore.

He found the bag and what he was looking for and went back outside to join Ronan again.

He held up the tarot deck. “I figured we should have a look at our future.”

“Man, Parrish I could have predicted your future for you. You're going to be insanely successful student and then turn into an insanely successful adult. Meanwhile I'll be a farmer.”

Adam smiled. “Seems like you've got it all worked out. Still for old time's sake. To remember Persephone.”

Ronan smiled back like he hadn't meant to. He sighed but he wasn't truly annoyed. 

“Fine then. Shall I just pick one card?”

“Yeah we're not going for a big reading here.”

Ronan nodded and took a random card from the deck Adam was holding spread out for him.

It was The Lovers.

Ronan looked smug.

Adam shrugged. “Well I could interpret this a few ways but let's take it straight forward and see it as a good sign.”

“I agree. Now have we paid our dues to your mentor?”

Ronan didn't say it impatiently, he was just asking a question. 

Adam nodded. “Yeah I think that will do for now. Come on let's go to bed. We told Blue we'd pick up Opal in the morning.” 

They both got up and Ronan said “We can stay up for a while longer can't we?”

“Sure” Adam replied. “But let's get into bed first.”

Ronan smiled and went on ahead. His hand brushed Adam's as he passed him. Adam cast one last look back into the darkness. The sun had set and you could only hear the animals surrounding the house. He felt like Persephone would have appreciated the irony of such a straight forward card when she had always seemed to talk in riddles. He was glad for the time he had gotten to spend with her. She would be remembered.


End file.
